Big hugs to Jeanine - hope you can feel all the love and warmth sent your way.
I agree with others that your H is in the black depression and needs professional help. Also, from personal experience, medication and therapy can work wonders on the desperate sysmtoms of depression. Problem is one tends not to recognize that until it's quite late - in my case it took my H truly leaving to get me to go for help.
Meanwhile, try to keep yourself and family safe from harm. I know you love H and are doing all you can, but IMHO this is one area (depression) that you cannot fix, but for which there is hope.
Oh, your magic wand is on order - hasn't come in yet.
