I was unfaithful

[Hope4us]

Max, Haven't posted in a while as I've been on vacation and I'm not in the same position as you, but I can tell you what seemed to have worked in my sitch (yes, there has been definite changes for the good there, you can read about it on my thread if you'd like).

I was in the same boat as you when it came to my W. She didn't want a thing to do with me (and she's the one that had the affair). I decided to live my life with or without her. I would ask her if she wanted to go to dinner with me or do other fun stuff and if she said no, I'd go anyway. The more I GAL without her it seemed to have piqued her interest. Slowly...oh so slowly she started to do things with me.

And it seems to have worked. Of course I had to throw in a couple of "I may become the WAS" which I think had an affect on her too, but I can almost guarantee that when I started planning life with or without her is when she noticed. But it took a LONG time. And there were many times when I'd almost had enough. But it finally happened. So there's always hope.

I think you're getting great advise from others here. GAL. Force yourself if you have to. Heck, sometimes I'd just go out and drive around. Now I know you're currently separated, but when your H is going to be at your house, don't be there and don't tell him what you're doing. If he says he's coming over, tell him ok, but I'm not going to be here. Then be sure to be gone when he gets there. Or better yet, don't leave until he shows up, looking good and smelling good.

When you finally get to a point of being ok without them, that's when it seems to make the most impact.

Ok, just my .02.