WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice II

[thrillisgone]

LD - I wish you all the best. Be strong, you've got a lot of support.

I'm moving out of my house this week and emotionally it is a killer. Logistically it is an absolute nightmare as everything is going into storage until I can figure out exactly what I want to do. Phone numbers, contact info, mailing addresses, insurance, different licenses.....you name it and it has to be changed. Emotionally it is crushing. All the Christmas times, birthdays, Thanksgivings and the fact that we built this house together as part of a dream. A whole lot of memories coming to the surface. My ExW used to tell me this was her sanctuary and she loved this house. Now it means nothing to her and apparently I don't either. Tough to grasp that after 30 years. This will be the toughest thing I've ever done and what we lost was tremendous and the destruction of what we built so incredibly senseless.

Still I managed to have a very nice weekend with my friend. Spent Friday night with friends and introduced her to them. They instantly made her feel at home and we had a great dinner at their home and fun conversation. Spent all day Saturday with her just talking, eating and watching a movie. Sunday we hooked up with some friends of hers and went to a pro football game. Lots of fun with great people.

Still, there is a tremendous sense of loss here. I still love my ExW and there is a heavy sadness that we could not and did not keep our marriage together. Not only that but we don't even communicate. Nothing but silence and a huge void. I don't think I've ever seen anyone so totally and completely disconnect after 30 years. Hard to swallow and impossible to understand in any rational way.