MWG checking on you. Glad your h came over and it seems like you enjoyed his company.
All that we do go through is difficult. It's hard for others to understand.
My brother called me today, which I really talk to maybe once a year. He asked about my h and I said I was trying to work things out and that we were in mc.
To my suprise my brother said I am glad you are trying to make it work and that you didn't get a D. I said thanks and that there are NO guarantees, but I was going to give it my best.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
We were watching tv and they had a feature about the movie, fireproof...of all the movies to discuss. I thought for sure he would change the channel but he didn't.
Other than that he had to pick D15 up from the mall, came back and we sat outside for quite awhile.
Talked about work, finances, worst case scenarios such as selling one car, etc.
When it gets toward the time he has to leave, he becomes very nervous and his stomach begins to bother him.
He'll be here again on Sunday.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I wonder why he gets so nervous to go back to OW. Very strange, what kind of control does she have over him to make him keep going back to something or someone that he is so unhappy.
I feel like you get so defensive when people other than your regular posters make a suggestion or ask a question. Not once have I seen someone tell you to file for divorce.
People care about you. Standing for your marriage is fine, but I don't think God would want you to self destruct right along with your husband. I don't think God would want you to sink with the ship. I don't think God would want your children to watch you sink.
You have a voice. You say your husband knows right from wrong, and yes, I know that ONLY your husband can make changes to bring himself home, and become healthy. But at this moment in time, he is making his decision by not coming home. By living with another woman. By having a full blown relationship with another person while married to you. By allowing you to go to work, be a full time mother, keep up the house, while he isn't even job hunting. By racking up HUGE debt in your name as well as his (because you are still married). By becoming a part time when-he-wants father. By letting you do all the hard stuff, and swooping in when he has to. When he wants to.
And of course you aren't happy about it. You are hurt.
He loves you. I can tell this.
I will say it again. I fear you don't value yourself, respect yourself enough to let your husband know when you are seriously hurting.
H was here Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and we had a really nice time.
Not much to add except he will be here mid-week as well.
As for the comment above about getting defensive. Nope, not defensive. I stand by my faith. What I have seen is that when one makes a firm decision to take matters into their own hands, controls what is said/done, the marriage really begins to crumble.
When a person decides to rely on their faith, give the situation to God, it may take awhile, but that person is more at peace, and those seem to be the marriages that get put back together with God in the center.
Just my observations not necessarily just here but from others I have spoken to that are not on computer forums.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
This is not about MY values, self-esteem, whatever you want to call it.
This is something that God has put before me/us and something to go thru. It could have been a death in the family, could have been an addiction of some sort with one of the kids, it could have been a sick parent but it was not, it had to do with something my H is doing.
God has said that if we follow him, we will experience long suffering.
I a accept this.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
This is not about MY values, self-esteem, whatever you want to call it.
This is something that God has put before me/us and something to go thru. It could have been a death in the family, could have been an addiction of some sort with one of the kids, it could have been a sick parent but it was not, it had to do with something my H is doing.
God has said that if we follow him, we will experience long suffering.
I a accept this.
MWG, I know you and I see eye to eye on very little, but I have a question. How do you know that God has put this situation before you? I think you should be carefull about laying it off on God. Perhaps Satan is leading your H around, people forget that he influences people too. Sad thing is, more than a few follow him.
