Everyone of the things you listed "could" happen. There is no single answer to covfer every different variable in these situations. It is also the exact reason DB suggests to take care of you first, GAL, drop the rope, Act as if, etc... By taking care of you, identifying the things you can improve, setting goals, and continuing to move forward, at the end of the day, you end up on top.
As a pratice when I was walking in your shoes, I would stand in front of the mirror and ask myself if I was proud of what I'd accomplished that day. If the answer was "no" then I made every effort to improve the next day. Sounds simple in theory, but difficult to implement.
The "what ifs" are difficult. What you have to recognize is you are letting him dictate your actions. You know you can't move forward if you don't take those first steps. Those steps lead you to a better you. You can move forward and still be open to all of those "what ifs". The only difference is when they arise, YOU will be in a position to accept or decline the offer.
What your are striving for is to shift control. Now, your thoughts of what if this, what if that, are keeping you from getting off of high center. You're waffling with your thoughts and feelings, riding the rollercoaster, because your thoughts are centering around what your H may or may not do.
Decide you are in control and you will accept everyday as yours. Your H isn't commited to the M right now. Do you sit and wait or do you get up and do what Sandy wants to do?
You can continue to desire to maintain your family as long as you desire. I will tell you when you limit the interactions with your H during the times his thoughts are negative, you will get along much better. Both with him and internally with yourself. The negative interactions bring you down and justify his action in his mind, a little bit more.
Your dreams may not match with his dreams today, but do you truely know what his dreams are? I don't think he has a dream at all. How do I know? If he's living his "dream" why is he upset with you? If he is totally happy and content, where does being upset with you fit? There is no basis for it. If you are totally content and living your dream, would one persons actions bring out the worst in you? I didn't think so. Your H's mind is still working, still wondering. The best way I know to get his mind working in your direction is to have him recognize all of your positives.
Now, give us a list of the positives and then tell us how you are going to SHOW them in the future.
I'll start;
1) You're more attractive. 2) You have a far better moral character Your turn!!!
