Remember I was in Orlando Friday thru Sunday evening for business. Had a great weekend.. went out Friday night after our sales awards party and we went to a nightclub and danced and drank ... didn't get to bed until 3am ... haven't danced like that in forever.. flirted with couple of my work colleagues all in fun.... everyone telling me how great I looked helped the ego...
So updates on H: Friday am he came to house 6:30am - he went up and got our baby and just walked right in the master bathroom and he said:
"Wow you look great, really pretty" " I like your dress" ( i had a new dress on) Me: I said thanks for the compliment H: " Then he says you actually look Hot... really HOT"
I said if you keep saying that and I didn't have to catch a flight I'd throw you on the bed and get it on.. we both laughed..
I left and he called me twice on the way to airport.. talking about our little baby.. saying "who does she look like" and just chatting... he isn't usually that chatty at 7am in the morning.
I made sure he knew I was out late and I didn't call him Friday night like I said I would... these are 180's for me..
But got home last night - he was normal but I did get in some R talks NOT OW talk just ... I had a convo with a guy I worked with who went through divorce when his girls were little and it just got me thinking... I know I'd be able to move past the affair.. what I'm struggling with now and would struggle with is the HOW - how could my H leave us and kids without trying everything to save the marriage first? the Abandonment issue... is this a character flaw that he doesn't have the moral obligation or the heart to try first... would he just be a repeat offender.
So I brought that up before he left... he seems so done and clear headed that at times I really don't think he is in the fog... I asked him... what happens if his feelings change in a year or five years? He just said who knows what is going to happen...
I feel a little more detached now ... I'm lonely and sad ... I found out I won a trip through work to Hawaii next year and my H and I knew we were going on this and now I will have to take a friend... little reminders how sad and lonely it will be.
I want to write him a letter but I think I'll hold off this week and we'll just see... he just seems so done.
T2L - I can't imagine having the success you are but I have to remember your H has been out of the house for 6 months and my H for 1 month.. lot can happen for any of us in another 5 months...but a true plan A will not work in my favor this soon I think ... I'm doing some but in DB and DR it talks about the last resort technique and that is what my C and I went over last week... I need to stop all talks, calls etc... not invite him anywhere, stop the chase, if he offers to do stuff with kids then great... be pleasant but not overly and I will still compliment him and try to make him feel good to a degree and talk love languages
I read almost all the "surviving affair" and did the quiz in back... it was good to have the description which helped. I think it is working so well for T2L because she did detach at the beginning and now that he has had a taste of being away and with OW it was good timing b/c when you started to invite him he was willing because it had been long enough where he wasn't use to you being friendly...
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
