Quoting Jeannine: Trust me, he's been informed. He has made it patently clear that he does not want to hear about it anymore. He still contends that he should not have to give this to me unless he feels inspired to do so.
When my W said she wanted to work on M last summer, I thought it was a green light to start "Asking for what I want". At first she obliged, but as time went on I noticed her doing less and less. This became before other signs that she was having second thoughts about M again. As she did less, I became more resentful, which fueled her doubts even more.
Once I realized what I was asking for was still being preceived as obligations, hence becomes preceived as more of a burden than an act of kindness, then I stopped asking immediately and let go my expectations and just did what I needed to do for myself. While I wasn't happy about the regression, I understood now the source my resentment. Knowing we were not yet at the level in the R where I can ask of her has eliminated resentment ...
Then she surprises me this weekend, by doing one of those acts of kindness I mentioned six months ago.
Kindness begets kindness. Kill him with kindness without asking for anything in return and it may inspire him to do the same. Act "as-if" if you're not wanting, to be selfishless will take the pressure off him that he feels obligated to give ... then with that burden lifted, he will be more inspired to offer ...
Jeannine, I know this is against what you are looking for with your current state of health, but I think even if you just act "as-if" you wish to be more self-reliant maybe enough to that he is willing to offer more support.
