good weekend, Halloween party was fun. Buddy of mine tried to fix me up, but the woman he wanted me to meet couldn't make it. Slowing down a lot. Almost out of ambition. Going line dancing tonight, working on a big project tomorrow night if it doesn't rain. Gym at least 3x's this week. I am staying put this weekend and doing all my yard work in one shot. If it's warm enough, I'll pain the trim as well.

Felt out of place at the dance. I danced a lot. but, seeing all the couples together, the kssing after each dance and what not, made me feel sad. Hit me yesterday also. W was there when I got home. she was getting cleaned up to go to a friends to watch the football game. took my younger d with her. Also said my other D was going. I just talked to her and she didn't go. Hasn't talk to my W in almost two weeks. I don't know why my younger D told me she was there.

Finances are getting to me I think, but i hope toget things lined up this week. Got great compliments at the party. No talking about it all weekend. this is the first since friday. My MIL cousin, the psychiatrist, left me a message to call her this week ofr support and some guidance. She told me to ride out the storm, as you all have said. She warned me about making any threats or getting on the ride with her. She told me everytime I think about her, do something, laundry, dishes, clean, go for a wlak, go to the gym. She said there is no shortcut in this situation, if I want my marriage I jhave to be the one being strong and doing everything right. Sounds like everything I have heard here. I will call her this week to touch base, plus i haven't seen her in a while. She has given me somewhat of a time frame based on my MILs input to her, but she says things can and will shift. I need to be more than I ever was and hae to really start to shine right now. Not to her, to me. She told me if I don't feel like I am controlling my life and I am on top , then I need to fix that and geton top of my life. I need to be king of the hill.

Felt better after getting her message, she is a peach.