Actually, I have to confess that I have already kissed several months back. On her 21st birthday, the W and I ran into her and her friends. W was so drunk and winggirl21 was too; W convinced winggirl21 and me (reluctantly) that we should kiss. Eventually we did. We've kept it a secret since. Just the three of us know.
did I just tell you that? Maybe that's another reason I'm attracted. But right now is NOT GOOD.
Okay, that's just more evidence to go in the psycho column.
First thing when I got home; I noticed that the kitchen was clean and laundry was being done. So I made a comment that the place smelled clean. She was being short and I could tell that something was up.
So the W probed me today to see if I was keeping a journal. I can only guess that she was coached by someone; maybe her mother. So I fessed up and told her that I was keeping a journal. She said that she didn't understand why; because she wasn't going to ask me for child support. I simply stated that I would hope not since you only asked for them every other weekend. So she then said that my A will subpoena your journal and she's not happy about you keeping one. I said it will be available if need be. At that point I realized that she's changing her desires for custody. I asked her what she thought would be a good arrangement. She said that she would have them three days and I would have them three days and we would alternate the other days. I asked her where are you going to live? She said with my grandparents. I didn't say anything further about that.
She asked my why I was keeping the journal; she figures it's to prove that she's an unfit mother. I told her that when she came to me and told me that she had seen an attorney and was wanting a D; that I consulted with an attorney and was advised to keep the journal. I told her that there's not only negative stuff in there; but positive stuff as well. I'm writing down everything that happens; everything.
So I left her at that point. Within 10 min. she's acting normal and brings up something the dogs killed earlier this afternoon. Then she talks a little about her wound and how they were accommodating her at work. That she's running the risk of getting fired. Later she told me that she wasn't mad anymore.
A few minutes later, I told her that I really didn't want to talk about us right now but I wanted her to know that I haven't given up on this marriage. She said that she didn't know what she wanted to do. I told her that's fine; I'm leaving it at that. Then she left. I can see from the phone that she contacted two L's this afternoon. I asked her if she was planning on filing, she said that she didn't know.
So now I think she has a glimpse of what may be coming down the pike; that this is serious business. I think that is where all the cleaning stemmed from; all of a sudden it's real and now I've got to step up and do the right thing.
So I think the next phase begins tonight. I somewhat suspect that she's really seeing a L tonight and not going to work. I say that because of the lengthy story she told about what she was doing tonight at work. But I could be wrong, she'll have plenty of time to see one during the day tomorrow.
Well well the plot thickens!! I couldn't think of anything else bro....my W has claimed a lot of wacked out stuff.....DNA evidence is her latest....Johnny Cochrane in da house??!! Keep your cool....the L talk could be to stir chit up. Maybe the L will tell her some cold hard facts!! My advice? Do not ask her about it at all!! Do not share any of your legal advice either.
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
My W has seen a lawyer a couple times. Got a total bullchit letter the first time (move out in a week or we will force you, if you move you will be able to see the K's, give me 75% of net pay). Second time was again cr@p. Now she appears to be avoiding. Whatever happens, KEEP CALM! Nothing ever was finalized over night.
Unfortunately, my W's L has not (it appears) talked any facts with her - financial is NON EXISTENT, and that is a hard cold reality.
Very important to remember the 24 / 48 hour rule (whatever you prefer). Do not react to anything - take the time to assess the sitch and then ACT as opposed to react.
OK to be here... just not with W, ok?
And, IMO, she is really worried about the journal...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Hey bro. It's a lot of smoke. Sounds like she's being defensive because she knows/understands her actions are not becoming of a W/mother. Here is an example, each time my W brought up "doing the divorce the hard way", I simply replied "OK". She would then back peddle and try to leverage everything she could against me. Include the kids on her "leverage list"!!! Called me every name in the book. She couldn't break me. Then, all of a sudden, she had the hots for me and wanted to be around me. Not saying this is going to happen for you but she MAY see you as a confident man again.
This is how I see it..... She realizes D doesn't scare you any more and that her threats have no effect. Now she's thrown for a loop. Your fighting back but doing it nicely. Her fog may be starting to break OR she's trying to manipulate you. Either way, you must act "as if". I don't care what she says/does, act "as if". Make sure you stick to PMA.
My W didn't want the kids often (like yours). Then, she realized I had no problems with them. Why? Maybe the grass isn't greener? Maybe she realizes the value of family? The truth is, "why" doesn't matter.
Steady the ship bro. I would probably lay off girlygirl69 for a little bit. Give it a week and see what W does.
Well, I hope she gets a good L. That way she'll learn all the costs involved in a custody battle if it gets to that. My L said that if she gets a good L; it will cost less in the long run.
Fact is, there really isn't much money to go around to filing a bunch of paperwork.
I hope that she thinks back to all the stuff she's been doing over the last 6 months and realized what she could be in for if she wants to go that route. I have to protect the kids. She's not an abusive mom; just a mostly absent one.
I predict that in the next few days; there will be a competition to see who can do the most around the house. It'll be interesting, I believe. But I plan on keeping the PMA up and try act "as if". That's all I can do until the business part of it starts.
I guess that talk about trying to find a way to get her to do more around the house doesn't matter anymore. I think she got scared into it. Hopefully some good comes of it.
here... just not with W, ok?