Where there is sadness, joy

[LolaL]

I know, I felt the same way. It has only been a week, last week being the day I walked away and didn't say a word to him. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I think the thing that kills me is that, other than the people on this board, everyone thinks I did it for revenge. I didn't. I did that for me, because I was so hurt and so tired of being hurt. I didn't want to "get back" at H, or show him whose boss. I just wanted some peace. I knew that if I allowed it, he would hug me, and then I would be on the same rollercoaster. I can't live like that anymore. It is a toss up, because by going dark I realize that there is a chance he will feel relief and decide to proceed w/ the D. But I also know that I can't go on the way we were going. And I do miss him every day, but it is getting easier to handle. I still love him very much. But I love myself too, and know that I don't have to be his sounding board when something is wrong unless he wants me to still be his wife.