I know the "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him." chant. After a really bad phone call or something particularly hurtful to me happens it comes out.
It usually changes to "I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.". And based on what I've read and heard I then rally to send him blessings or say prayers to forgive him. My first blessing was a herd of camels at his new abode. That gave me fiendish joy. Now I wish him good health and a strong career (alimony depends on that!). Okay I'm bad but I'm getting there.
The "I hate's" I think are part of detaching. If you hold onto hate (which is really pain) it leads to bitterness and the gradual loss of the joys in your life. I like to say, "Just cuz I couldn't get laid, doesn't mean I want to be screwed!" when it comes to divorce. You're very creative.. see what helpful suggestions your mind, wit and wisdom gives you.
And laugh. Just laugh. It's a beautiful thing that helps you in so many ways. I find that shows are funnier, the sun is brighter. At choir I look about to the members and smile like sunshine, enthusiastic to be there, spreading my joy. That and I don't want those ucky wrinkles that come from scowling. Vanity can be helpful too!
