Back to life, back to reality?

[istherehope]

So,

Again I know that things are ever-changeable, but last night, there was ML (twice). Naturally I am not going to ask about whether it meant anything, but I am hoping it meant he was feeling close to me, and not just drunk...:).

Feeling a bit hungover this morning. Hoping that last night was not just an alcohol-fueled dream! Last night was sort of like where we would have been, had the bomb not occurred, back in July. What I mean by this is that we finally discussed the trip we'd been on where H dropped the 1st bomb, but in a fun, non-bomb related way...My dad and little brothers and stepmom were on the trip, and we talked and laughed about the things they'd done etc. After dinner we walked to the water, and H held onto my arm. At drinks in the hotel lobby, we just talked about books we'd read, trips we'd been on etc. It was nice. I would have loved to talk about things we wanted to do in the future, but I didn't want to press my luck.

Also wanted to mention something that felt quite substantial yesterday. H made one of his "mean jokes" in the room (before the drunken dinner), and he was standing up. I rushed over to him, poked him, and sort of hugged him. He actually put his head down on my shoulder and seemed really into it. I pulled back though after a few seconds.

This morning H is reading, and we have joked around back and forth a bit. We're planning to go to breakfast soon, and then drive around the area. My goal is still no R talks for the day, unless he just says something very positive of his own accord :).

Anyway, will probably post later tonight, back from the house.

ITH