I wasn't really feeling pain. I did feel sad listening to it. Thats her choice and I can't do anything about it except leave it in Gods hands.
But my patience wears thin. I was thinking today that I was going to give things until the first of the year. If it has to be to file, then maybe I'll have to.
My day was long today. The girls slept in my bed last night. They just wanted to sleep with me. I got them into bed but I stayed up until about 3:30.
I woke up about 8:30 but stayed in bed just watching the girls sleep and enjoying them being with me. D7 was up first, then D11 started playing around. We like to play alligator's. All laying on top of each other.
Church this morning. Afterwards, I went driving around MIL's neighborhood looking for garage sales. NONE. We saw 2 and they had crap. We head out to visit my parents for a while. Mom had just made homemade vegetable soup with beef. In Spanish, its called caldo. Caldo de res. Nothing like good homemade soup. Kids had fun. Only stayed a couple of hours. Head out to Target to return a couple things from D7's Bday party. I got her some Barbie stuff, a Barbie doll and a little panda the moves. D11 needed a heavy sweater, so I got her a nice thick fleece zip up. After Target, we hit Barnes and Noble. About an hour there. Then headed home at about 6:15. D7 fell asleep on the way home.
I get D7's stuff together to take back to the apartment. Not much. D11 gets her stuff. I call the wife to let her know that I'm waking up D7 and we should be on our way shortly. Finally woke her up and we head out at about 7:15. They say they're hungry, so we make a quick stop at Sonic. On the way to Sonic, I noticed a missed message from the wife. Not sure why I missed it. VM is asking about the scooters and if the girls could bring them so they can ride them there. I don't return the call. At the apartment, they go in and I take their bags in. No hello from the wife. I give her a couple of papers for D7's school. She hand me a remote control. I look at it confused. "Its goes to the house." It was a control to a satellite box hook that was in S14's room. She is surprised that they have food. She mentions to them that she was waiting for them and was cooking supper.
Oh well.
I say my goodbyes to the girls. The wife sounds frustrated. S14 isn't back from his dads either. I could tell by how she said it to D11 that she is getting the "my ex'es must be working against me" attitude. She asks about the scooters. I ask her if she checked the girls room and their closet, because I didn't have them. She says she did. D11 finds one of them in the entry closet. Then D11 can't remember if she left it at the house or not. She had brought it earlier in the week, but I was pretty sure she took it back out of the Explorer a day later at the apartment. I tell her I'll check for it at the house. Leaving, she is in the kitchen cooking something. I say goodbye to the girls again and point the remote at her and tell her, "I'll talk to YOU later" then turn to leave. She says nothing. D11 runs to the door and we start some some funny lines for Young Frankenstein. We had been doing it all day long. She really liked it.
I leave and go to the grocery store. Picking some banana's, MIL is walking past. I give a quick hello. She stops to get some banana's also. I ask how she is doing. She says good and asks me the same. I tell her that I'm getting by. I have to ask her why she seemed to look angry at me.
"You mean yesterday?"
The wife gets her smarts from her mother.
"Yes." "Oh, I just don't want to be in the middle." She we talk a little. I tell her I'm doing well. That I letting go of the wife. She agrees that I should. I start to talk about the wife and what she has done. MIL knows. I mention that I may start the kids with a therapist. She agrees that it is needed. She mentions that that is what the wife needs also.
"She says she's happy, but how can she be happy?" she says. "I agree." She asks if I still attend my church. She also used to attend. I tell her that I wish the wife would do something. She says she will. After a little more talk, she mentions that she doesn't not ask about our situation. She doesn't want to get involved.
Mother of they Year for her.
She says they hardly talk. That she helps her with money sometimes but other than that, no questions. I think she was more embarrassed yesterday more than anything. She mentions how D11 is taking things. I let her know that she is mad at her mother, but that I never talk bad about their mother. She says that me not moving on kind of makes it hard on the kids. That they think that I'm hurting too much.
I let her know that I'm moving on, and finding the good in me again. I tell her that the wife THINKS that I'm just sitting around thinking about her constantly, but I'm not. We talked about S14 also. We talked for about 20 minutes. I tell her goodbye and go about finishing my shopping.
Got some work to work on for tomorrow. See if I can get to it. I'm exhausted.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
