I want to clip her relationship w/this OM, but the questions then come up on do I kick her out or not?
If her relationship ends, why would she need to leave? Tell her she's free to leave if she wishes, but you remain committed to the marriage, and to wanting to work on your issues. WHATEVER you do, YOU don't leave your house.
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And what about the other (single OMs) she has out of state?
What about them? Are you asking if you should somehow try to expose each of these relationships? I suggest that you tell her that you know about ALL of these relationships, and that if these are the people she wants to be with, she should call them and see if they have any extra room for her at their place.
Her behavior is unconscionable. She's probably wondering why you're not putting your foot down.