LE, Hey I think that the line between a good husband/father and a codependent is when the person loses their identity to the roles of father/husband. I've been there and my W tried to tell me about 2 years ago when she was in rehab. I think people with addictive personalities and people who have codependent tendencies are drawn to each other like moths to a flame.
I went to an Al-Anon meeting last night (1st in 2 years) and for the first time since starting the DB process; I really realized what the Al-Anon 12 step program is all about for us "normal" people. Now I'm eager to do my steps and get more involved with the program. Part of my GAL.
If there were any to get back in the house; you could really be there for the kids. I know that's probably not possible at this point. My only thought is keep letting the W do her own thing and you have to make attempts to see the kids every chance you get. If I were in your shoes, until I got to a happier place; I'd be content to at least be the sitter when the crazy W does her own thing. That's just me.
