Thank you. Today I feel much better. It seems I also have these lows as well.

I am not texting or calling all the time , in fact rarely these days but when i do and he does not answer then I seem to tail spin.

I will see C, as long time friend rode the storm with me said , 'I think you need some prof help ' and she is not one to say that.

My opinion is that it is not detaching so much ( just a little ) it is loss of control over this person.

Yesterday , I came home from shopping with D16 and H was there having coffee. He raised the topic of our R with a simple question and I took a long hard look at him and i said that I no longer wanted to be married. It was kind of empowering , a part of me doesn't and has always felt that. Tommorrow it could all be different but today it feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Quote:
Your H is not there to answer to your call. Ok?

OK

Quote:
You are at home Saturday because you didn't take care of your own plans. Is there a lesson here? H will not rescue you, will not fill up your weekend nights for a while. it's up to you. Next weekend, if you don't want to be alone, what are you going to do?


Very good. Puts it into perspective. There was nothing stopping me making my own plans. I am trying to break a lifetime habit with him. We have been together since I was 16 and other than OE when I was 19 for a year, i have spent every Saturday night ( few exceptions) with him.

It is these little gems from this site that I hold on to. Thanks for your help.