All I want to say about today's events is that I feel an inner peace that I have not felt for a very long time.
As for the event in June it wasn't my son moving out he left in April. It certainly wasn't when H and OW got engaged as that was announced on my wedding anniv 2006 (just 8 months after he left and 6 months after meeting OW) although they say they actually got engaged in April 06.
I've trawled through my old threads and I think it was when I began to realise just how low H was prepared to stoop in order to get his precious D. Well that time will be here very soon and I am now fully accepting of that. I know now it wasn't me. I know that even if he had been M to someone else he would still have done what he has done. I am at peace with my past and it feels good.
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Wow! Your STBX sure has gone on a lot of holidays! Where does he get the money
That's the whole point BM, he doesn't have the money he just keeps putting it on his credit card. That is why I now need this D in order to assure my own financial stability. This time he has taken S16, S16s GF and MIL with him to OWs father's 50th birthday party in Czech Republic. The girls weren't invited. Ironic really when H is himself 43!
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I remember he gave your "unreasonable behavior" or some such as grounds for the D, also tried to screw you over financially somehow. It was all very low.
You will be so much better off without him if this is what he's going to be like, even with the financial difficulties D will bring. I am glad you are starting to feel at peace with it.
It has to hurt your Ds that your H always gives your S preferential treatment.
It will take my ex decades to dig himself out of this mess financially.
We just can't be a part of that.
Women crave stability.
I do
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
It's what this MLC hogwash is all about --- live for today, and don't think about tomorrow. But that piper will have to be paid one day. Then they will come crying to you (maybe), but it will be too late, 'cause you would've moved on. Hopefully, some of these MLCers will wake up before its so late that they can't even pay toward their children's college education. I think that's already happening with you, ACJ!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." Peace Pilgrim
Despite H being on holiday (again) I did get a letter from his L yesterday. Last week's letter said that H wanted his £30k by 31st October my response was that was unreasonable and impossible due to the process that has to be gone through first. This week's letter tells me that the date stipulated by H is non negotiable. It says H is no longer prepared to communicate on anything BUT I have been instructed to ensure that his L knows by close of business tomorrow (Monday) whether I am going to pay up or not. The tone of the letter is really nasty. It's just as well it came on a Saturday and that H was away as they may well have felt the full thrust of my anger by now H clearly needs this money for something very pressing (either that or OW has given him an ultimatum). The only thing that worries me is that if he creditors are coming after him that they are on the way to me to collect! Obviously I need to speak to my L tomorrow morning. Isn't it interesting how even though they want this over and done with yesterday they still do stupid things like this and drag things out even further. Of course he is still threatening me with court. Neither of us can afford that but I won't be blackmailed and if we have to go, go we shall.
D18 came home this weekend. It was lovely to see her. She has gone back again now but will be here next weekend also for her BFs birthday.
I went to a card making class yesterday morning. I had a fantastic time. It's really weird actually b/c normally my post doens't come until at least 11am but yesterday it came really early and so I had read Hs letter before I went to the class. I'm glad I didn't save it for when I came home b/c by the time I had spent the morning at the class I had almost forgotten about it and I had the fruits of my labours at the class to show for and even though I say it myself they are pretty damn good!
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Alison, my first thought was What a plonka! I,m glad the letter didn't spoil the enjoyment of your class. Just were and how does he think you can get that sort of money from in a few days? I wonder he didn't enclose instructions on how to rob a bank.
You don't sound to put out anyway, so thats good. I guess you are learning to expect nothing less than insanity from this man. How can his lawyer write in such a tone, it amazes me. I hope it doesn't come to court as you will both be the poorer. Stupid man.
Believe me my first thoughts were far more obscene than that!
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You don't sound to put out anyway, so thats good. I guess you are learning to expect nothing less than insanity from this man.
Yes you are right I do only expect insanity now. I spoke to my L on Monday morning. She had given me her home number as she is officially on holiday this week. She said she would phone Hs L to find out why he was letting his client behave in such a bullish manner. I haven't heard back from her yet.
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Stupid man.
Yes stupid and very sad.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
H clearly needs this money for something very pressing (either that or OW has given him an ultimatum). The only thing that worries me is that if he creditors are coming after him that they are on the way to me to collect! Obviously I need to speak to my L tomorrow morning. Isn't it interesting how even though they want this over and done with yesterday they still do stupid things like this and drag things out even further. Of course he is still threatening me with court. Neither of us can afford that but I won't be blackmailed and if we have to go, go we shall.