I know it seems hopeless right now, but I'd encourage you to read other threads on these boards -- hundreds of them -- and you'll see that this "we never had a connection" thing is VERY much affair "script," and she likely doesn't mean it. It's called "re-writing marital history." Did she ever complain of this earlier in your marriage, BEFORE she had an affair? Or is this a recent complaint?
Yep, that's script. They all seem to follow it. Weird. My H said the whole I never loved you for about a day or 2, but dropped it cause I think even he realized it was crap. I have tons of cards & notes from him in the first 18 or 20 years of our R, that tell a different story. They say anything they can to justify what they know deep deep down isn't right. My H is now thinking that his A and D is good b/c it's really helped me, the kids, and himself! Crazy stuff they think, you can't use logic with them b/c they are almost anti-logic.
From what I've observed, it's like an addiction. My H wasn't able to text the OW once for 5 minutes while we played a game with my D8 and he was literally screaming and freaking out at us. I think that part of it is sad.
Glad you found us, this is a great group of people. Puppy gives the best advice ever and I have learned this through experience!!! Karen
