You can tell that the longer I go, the more I'm telling myself that I don't want to do it anymore. Then my Guardian Angel comes around and taps my shoulder.
Of course, thoughts are one thing. Puting them to action is a completely different animal. Thats why I keep reminding myself to take it...
day by day by day.
H4H,
That is really all we can do, isn't it. We can not control anything but ourselves and how we feel.
I am with you (and MC) - I do not believe in D, unless there is abuse. What I see happening in me is a slow shift to thinking that what she is doing to me is abusive, so... In other words, I understand your conflict totally.
Will I file? Not at this point. My L just keeps watching for my back when she has her L send Bull$hit letters, threatening this and that.
Day by day is the best we can do right now. I encourage you to try and not think about W today. Crank the music, go buy a new shirt, bake cookies with D's (did that last night with D11 and a friend of hers) - do whatever to make you feel good. I have found in these last few days that has been easier for me because I have given myself a diversion. Not easy, but when you focus elsewhere, you will not focus on W and that, right now IMO, would be a good thing.
Take care bud. I sense the despair in you - but you WILL COME THROUGH THIS.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
