Thanks SD. Wise words as usual. I will miss your input but I realize that everyone must move forward at their own pace.
You are one of three that I communicated with over the past two-plus years that made it. I thought of all the others and I stopped count at 50 or so folks I corresponded with regularly. There were more. So, the odds are about 5% once you land here.
The others did not do as well. Most are divorced; many left the site. Some are still in the D process with little hope of turning things around. Some are about to enter that process. The rest are in limbo or such and for those I pray the hardest since life is too short to be stuck.
That is why I disagree with the "standing" crowd. If you catch it soon enough as the three I refer to did, there is hope. Even Michelle's books imply things should change around sooner than later. But after a year or so - or "one month for each year of the relationship" - the 5% odds catch up with you.
Me? I am doing better than last month. Ups and downs but not moving forward as well as I would like. Like I said it sucks being stuck.
A great thing SDFound said on her thread is that she could not keep reliving 2006 over and over again. That is what I have been doing and it has to stop.
I am slowly getting back to liking me for who I am. Since my D was final I have been very hard on myself. That also has to stop. Sure, there are many things I don't like about me but they should not be the sum total of who I am.
I am a nice guy really. And I have many good qualities. They define who I am.
My relationship with my kids has never been better. While that is a big positive - D means more one-on-one time by definition - D still sucks. Just last night D7 said she was "homesick" and wanted to go to her mother. That was a kick in the gut.
Well, on to better things and rebuilding my life. I refer back to the first post on this thread and I need to make that happen. Got to get out of the rut of feeling sorry for me.
Will be posting much less - this BB was a lifesaver but now it is pulling me down. I no longer have the strength to support others b/c I have to find the strength to support me. But I will lurk around on those that are still to complete their journey here.
