I feel like you get so defensive when people other than your regular posters make a suggestion or ask a question. Not once have I seen someone tell you to file for divorce.
People care about you. Standing for your marriage is fine, but I don't think God would want you to self destruct right along with your husband. I don't think God would want you to sink with the ship. I don't think God would want your children to watch you sink.
You have a voice. You say your husband knows right from wrong, and yes, I know that ONLY your husband can make changes to bring himself home, and become healthy. But at this moment in time, he is making his decision by not coming home. By living with another woman. By having a full blown relationship with another person while married to you. By allowing you to go to work, be a full time mother, keep up the house, while he isn't even job hunting. By racking up HUGE debt in your name as well as his (because you are still married). By becoming a part time when-he-wants father. By letting you do all the hard stuff, and swooping in when he has to. When he wants to.
And of course you aren't happy about it. You are hurt.
He loves you. I can tell this.
I will say it again. I fear you don't value yourself, respect yourself enough to let your husband know when you are seriously hurting.
