Again, still a long way to go, but it seems like we're in that second honeymoon period. I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts, continue to be patient until W is ready to talk. But I see it coming.
H4U,
I would encourage you to spend some time now, while there is no pressure, thinking about how you're going to handle that. It's going to be a CRITICAL conversation from your wife's perspective, and you need to be careful how you play it.
It's very important that she come away from it with a feeling that you are not going to "lord her affair over her" moving forward, and that you GENUINELY forgive her.
She is embarrassed.
She is, at times, humiliated.
She is ashamed.
You need to let her know that you forgive her, and that you are now PROUD of her that she is making effort and now making good decisions.
Let her lead the conversation, and VALIDATE.
She wants you very much to DEFEND HER, and be PROUD of her again. Notice the strong reaction you got from her when you defended her honor in the bar, and how she needed that, WHILE also feeling strong and that she "could have handled it herself."
It's going to be a balancing act, but you can do it. Just best to jot some notes and thoughts to yourself AHEAD of time, when things are calm and going well, rather than get caught off-guard, because make no mistake: she WILL be "testing" you in how you respond to her when she becomes vulnerable to you in that moment.
