Hope4us struggle, part 9 or 10 or whatever

[Hope4us]

Thank you guys. I'm sitting her kind of crying again. Both because of the GREAT friends I have here, people who don't know me from Adam who support me (and everyone else here) with such compassion and because Ohio State lost to Penn State when they had the game in hand only to lose on a stupid fumble towards the end of the game. Ok, maybe one more reason.

After the game W and I watched Saturday Night Live. Don't know if anyone has been watching the past couple months or not, but the Tina Fey/Sarah Palin gigs have been the BEST. Anyway, after SNL, W and I went to bed TOGETHER and commenced another STEAMY session. After, we fell asleep with me spooning her as tightly as I could. Man it feels GOOD.

Again, still a long way to go, but it seems like we're in that second honeymoon period. I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts, continue to be patient until W is ready to talk. But I see it coming.

It's funny, I've had a couple of triggers the past week, but they haven't been as difficult to deal with. They haven't lasted as long or been as intense as before. I seem to snap out of them more easily.

I thought of one more thing from Disney that I think shows W is really making the effort (besides the obvious). My family has kept excellent family history records since my great, great, great grandparents emigrated to the U.S. from England in 1837. They lived in this little town named Old Swan that was at the time a "suburb" of Liverpool. As Liverpool grew it swollowed up Old Swan so now it's just the Old Swan neighborhood of Liverpool. Anyway, I was in the English Pub at Epcot getting a couple of drinks for W and I and I saw where the bartender was from Liverpool. So I started talking to him. Told him my quickie family history and he said "That's the neighborhood I grew up in (Old Swan)!". Now in the past, W would always discount and almost belittle me when I'd meet someone at Epcot and share my family history with them. So I walked out of the Pub and was telling the W of the couple we were with about the bartender and also about how W always pooh pooh's this kind of thing and W walked up. She heard the story and just kind of gave me her normal "whatever" look and I just looked at the other W and said "I told ya"! So a couple minutes later W starts asking me about the bartender etc. She's TRYING. And God it feels good.

Thanks again everyone. I almost feel guilty to be sharing how well things seem to be going with all the other pain on this board. I hope others can find some inspiration to keep trying. You never know how things can turn out if you are patient enough and love without expectations.