For the Guy with Kids and a WW Dix-Sept

[hopeful4her]

I tell you what else is hard. Having your stupid spouse accidentally hit redial and call my cell without knowing. I listened to her chatting with some neighbors, I think. I could also hear OM in the background. Mostly unintelligable stuff. Then inside her place. Couldn't make out much. Her phone must have been in her jacket or something. I could make out only a few things. "Don't start" from her to him. "Roger freaking out" from him to her. "surprised he didn't find that too" from him. A lot of chit chat stuff. Could only make out a few words here and there. She was cold. Him talking. Her talking about her walk, tonight. Giggling and some laughs from her.

I listened in for about a half hour. How could I not? Then I decided it was enough.

It helped me to say forget it. She is in another world and enjoying it too much. Yes she feels the guilt, but she can get past it. Too stubborn. She has justified her actions.

I do not plan to wait for her anymore. I'm going to keep saying this to myself. I am done waiting for her. I put up a hell of a fight.

Again, I'll take each day as it comes. I don't plan on initiating D papers. Yet. But who knows what the future brings. I'm no longer going to be her fool.

And I'm not sad about it. I plan on sticking to this as best I can. My actions need to be purposeful. I will show strength, character, and above all else, that I'm a great guy to be with.

But at the same time, I realize that I'm a weak man with many flaws that also enjoys having attention. Craves it, would be more like it. Need it.

Day by day by day by day by.......