Can't they chill and let me be free?

[Sugar and Spice]

He has lied so much, that trusting him will be very difficult.

Exactly.

He is seeing a counselor...does that mean he committed himself to trying to repair the marriage?

I don't know how to answer that. It goes along with the lying. I know what he tells me, but that isn't necessarily the truth. If you were to go on what he "says", then his goal is to work through this and come home....

I am the worst at taking my own advice, but I think GF has something. Not only would going black perhaps end up with H missing you, it will (and for me this is KEY) help you to not damage whatever feelings and love you still have - I see these getting more dusty with almost every interaction with H. Hope that makes some sense.

This all makes TOTAL sense to me. I can feel more and more of the feelings I have slipping away. The more things go on this way, the less I'm able to care (if you know what I mean.) As far as spending time together though or even the interactions...I don't go seeking him out, he comes to me. Thats whats so confusing to me. Why even call me, text me, etc... Why not just walk away? I'm not chasing, so make a clean break.

BTW...Six Flags was a total blast. My legs are sore and there was all kinds of spooky stuff, we LOVED it!!!!

I know you guys are right about the going dark (pitch black) and since this is all coming to a head here pretty quickly, something is bound to happen, one way or another.