Gigi, for some reason I have this memory that your x was a passive/aggressive guy. Is that true? Often late, procrastinator, withdrawing affection, you never able to do the right thing, simple requests ignored, seemingly never knowing if he forgot or was not listening? Defaulting decisions and then not liking them and not saying anything at the time? Never knowing what the right thing is to do? Afraid that whatever you do will make him mad?
The reason I ask, if that's the case then the way you communicate or not could be learned behavior, both for you and your family.
This might be way off base and if so I apologize. This is the way my x was with me and it is very difficult to deal with them when you just can't win no matter what you do. Could it be a family dynamic? Just a thought.
The reason I bring it up is my ex inlaws had a similar story to your parents and I know by x was so much like his father. Was it learned behavior right down to using adultery as an excuse and maybe later behavior as punishment for unknown crimes? That may be harsh but there are some things I cannot take ownership for. Wonder
