Yup, she is waaay into the fog with this PA over the past month. However, from Jan till August she was not having this type of relationship, and still felt like escaping the marriage. The reasons she didn't leave then were that I stood for the M rather than go down a fast path divorce path; I would not cave and give her more than what the law provides; She did not have a stable job yet.
In terms of exposure, I've actually thought about contacting the guy and telling him to back off or I'll contact his Wife and workplace. I figured this might be a good starting point since: 1) If I tell his W she may go nuclear and push him out, which will cement my wife and OM. 2) I know he mentioned to my W that he thinks she should try to reconcile, as it would be best for her (although he'd clearly like to maintain some fringe benefits) 3) I could always contact his wife later, since I have proof.
I fear though that even with exposure of this relationship, W would just seek a new relationship, rather than come around to me. Heck, she will probably harbor some hatred towards me (for ruining her plans, and to cover her guilt)
Ah it's hard. I've been planning to have a talk with W on Sunday night, and still don't know what to do.
