Max, thanks. You know what I've come to realize is that I have no REAL control over her. I can't make her stay here and love me anymore than she can make me stay. What I've really gotten to see in this whole sitch is that I am happier when I'm not around her. I'm happier since I've set the kids and my life up so that we don't have to depend on her. When she helps; now it's just an added bonus. I thank her for it; and then I don't expect it again.
Ultimately, I've discovered that I'm happy by myself and have come to realize that life without her as my W sounds very titillating. So I know I'll be fine if we D. I'm still not sure that's the road I'm traveling; and I certainly don't want my kids to have to suffer that. But I'm ready if it comes to that.
So my strength is that I know she's on her path; whether it's toward healing or leaving, it's not my choice. I really just want her to be happy and strong for the kids. They need their mother as much as they need me; God willing we'll stay together and be happy as a couple.
