If OM is married she is cheating.....even if she doesn't consider herself cheating on you she is cheating on OM's W.

Personally I would contact OM's wife and add a dose or reality into the situation. Your W sounds like she is living in La La land.

Also how the heck can she work on you whilst still out dating - that's just rubbish. For it to work with you she must have no contact with these OM in any romantic way at all - infact no contact with these men she has already hooked up with in one way or another.

Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength