Being passive is one of the most aggressive forms of aggression.
Whew, girl, being an arm chair shrink, I'd guess that your H is keeping you at such a distance so he will never, ever, ever again have to feel anything similar to the pain he felt when his father died. You are up against a ghost.
The very best advice I can give you is hope to heaven you listen up to Cathy. I'm LD, girl, and even I'd say two times a year is nuts.
I personally think you need to get out. Now. Let your H be responsible for himself, you've been doing it for him way too long. You need to take care of you, now.
It's scarey. Change is always scarey. But it sure as hell beats dying inside, and I really think you've eroded away long enough.
God love you. You're in my prayers. Listen to Cathy.
