HUUUUURRRRRRAAAYYYYYYYYYY for B mailing you twice! In one day!!! That's fantastic news! And it suggests that you found something that works- link with not very much associated text. Brilliant!
I love that you mailed him and din't wait. And now I can't wait to hear how he responds.
I like the sound of the yellow dress- like wearing sunlight!
Haven't heard from him yet, which is funny... I really didn't expect to hear from him yesterday and he emailed me twice, and then today I was hoping to hear from him and checked my email like seven times, no response, but you know, that's OK!!!
((ali)) ok, I will google it, I promise. PLEASE get passionate marriage, please please please please please!!!! I promise it will rock your world!!
(((kalni))) I am so glad to make you smile, and so happy you are reading.
(((lisa))) OMG you are right. a link without much text!! But!! when I emailed him back it was three short paragraphs. *SIGH* ok, at least now I know for next time. thank you for being a scientist and noticing the pattern.
it is so good to hear from you. thank you for visiting
where, that is an excellent question. Will I move to new york once I graduate? I am honestly not totally sure I am going to graduate in december. (fingers crossed)!!! Also, I am not sure I am ready to leave ATL because even though ATL was always temporary, I don't feel like I've accomplished everything I hoped to accomplish here, and I don't feel like I have a good plan for what to do next. So I would like to stay here in ATL in the spring even if I do graduate. if I can't pull that off financially I could move back to with my parents in Virginia (something I have avoided ever since graduating from high school) and commute to NYC for cello lessons.
My original plan was to take auditions in the spring for schools in Boston (4 hours from NYC) or NYC, and then move to school in the fall. Then I realized this week that the school in NYC I REALLY wanted to go to has a pre-audition deadline of Nov 15th. There is, like, NO WAY I can get the materials together on top of everything else I have to do to try to graduate.
So now my future is a big question mark. I have been doing a lot of soul-searching about who I want to be, what I want to become, etc, etc, and I will try to keep it short. From a "transformer" perspective, I feel like I must do what is right for me. Coincidentally until recently I thought that would be trying to go to school in NYC, for my own reasons... and happen to be really close to B! But now, I'm just really confused!! From a "DB" perspective, it seems like totally obvious that I should try to live in the same city as B. But if I moved there for no other reason but to be near him and it didn't work out, i would feel totally lame!!!!!! Honestly NYC totally scares the crap out of me and I feel like I might be eaten alive if I live there! It seems like the ideal would be to happen to be there for my OWN reasons. But I really don't know where I should be to bloom and reach my full potential, or where I belong.
Your decision about moving under current cicumstances should be based on what is good for you irrelevant of whether your B is there or not. You may move there and he gets a job offer and moves to ...ATL. What then?
I am reading, always. Sometimes I dont know what to post... Love K
Hey T.. thank you for posting to me! I liked what you said, that really helped.
Of course you have to do whats right for your career.. you and B are 900 miles apart but back in touch and Kalni has a good point, he could take a job anywhere and be 900 miles from NYC and you again!?
Can you really not get the material ready for 15th Nov? Thats a shame, thats a big date astrologically! It would have been good to go for it then (something to do with Pluto!). Yes and Pluto does kind of mean 'little death' - in that its a constant process of stripping back, laying bare, going to the depths, mining those feelings and then rising again from the ashes like the phoenix from the fire. Just google it, theres tonnes of info on Pluto and I think it also gives you a lot of power. Plus, to have Pluto linked to a personal planet (like the Sun, moon or Venus) makes you very creative and kind of .. powerful !
So dont doubt yourself, I bet you are destined for amazing things. Where is the 'centre of the universe' for cello playing/ learning? Is it NYC ? If it is.. go there, even if you fear it.
Did you have any more thoughts abnout talking to B about your new cello?
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
thanks for your thoughts. kalni, good point!! ali, I'm really glad my thoughts helped a little bit. I'll be doing my recital november 16th, so there is still potential for it to be a big pluto day! when you talk about pluto it completely sounds like the work I"ve been doing on my heart all year. New York is the center of the arts world in the US, and almost all the people I"m excited to study with are there... it is just so intense, and I just don't feel prepared technically/artistically/ financially/ mentally, unless maybe I was in school, where I would be sort of protected from the crazy competitiveness.
I think the bigger question is, I do not know where I should go to reach my full potential. I do not know where I belong!!
One of my big realizations these past weeks is there are parts of me that have really atrophied from being in grad school and even from before that, that I want to nurture again. I think that might even be one of my big developmental tasks before reconciliation can occur. But that is more about cultivating a place in my own heart, than needing to be in a specific geographical place.
I feel like I should give B a call soon to ask about the cello, I am just wondering how long I have to wait so I don't seem overeager, since I emailed him back on thursday and haven't heard from him. So the ball is in his court. Maybe wait a week? I dunno.
