Hi Max, I hope this is not breaking any kind of divorce busting board ediquette rules here, but I would like to send a quote from a man to another lady on the board here who has a WAS and is having much difficult detaching. He confirmed what I have always said about the nature of men:
Quote:
My feelings are that when a guy has walked away, especially for someone else, that this is about as unattractive as it can get. Yuck! Chasing and pursuing to a guy that wants out just looks pitiful. Sure, he'll give you a pity hug, but that's about it. Want him to want back in? Show him someone that he can't have. Show him someone that he'd be crazy not to chase.
You see it every day in real life. You see it on this very board from the guys that have been kicked to the curb. They fight and claw to get their spouse back. Do you think that these same guys didn't think before the bomb that the marriage sucked? Maybe even at some point wanted out themselves? They didn't say to themselves, "this marriage sucks!" and consider leaving? Not every single one of the guys on this board were just awesome husbands that thought they were in great marriages. The bomb itself had a lot of us guys scrabbling to restore the marriage. Your husband needs a little bomb. He needs to see you attractive, happy, confident, and OMG moving on. You don't have to reassure him that you will be there waiting for him. It's not what he wants. Us guys are not women....we don't respond to what you would respond to. Give him something to chase a bit and quit being so needy.
I just thought maybe that would help you as you are setting goals for yourself. I hope so.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
