You and Cathy rip my heart right out of my chest. I wish to God I had some words, some damn idea...but because I am not in your situation and never have been, I feel I must tread very carefully here.
I'm curious. Do you think your husband is a passive agressive? Do you think his absolute refusal to have sex with you may be a power play? The more I read your thread, the more and more I am thinking that perhaps this is a very strange form of abuse he is foisting onto you.
Have you ever tried seperation? I mean, could you emotionally and/or financially swing it?
I will say that I am all for keeping marriages together, but not to the expense of someone's soul. I almost walked out because my H had gotten so verbally and emotionally abusive I couldn't take it anymore. And for the longest time I just couldn't see my part in it. But I do have to say that he was the first one to back off just a bit, and long enough for me to remember that I really, really loved him. And then I found the book. Thank God.
I don't know how to fix your sitch. But I can tell you that the thing that finally jump-started my sitch is when both my H and I were honestly willing to chuck it all. Perhaps your H is in such deep denial of how serious your situation is, that he'd never realize it until you do something radical.
I have to say that reading Cahty's post to you makes an awful lot of sense to me, at least in your situation. I hate saying that, too.
