Dear, Dear, Mare, I wish your story had a happier ending, it started off so positively! I'm so sorry to hear what you have to say.
Ok. First- your health. YOu must take steps to protect yourself. You won't be around to DB or anything else for that matter if you don't. Get tested and make him get tested. Don't have sex unless you do.
You need to confront him with all of this. He need to make a choice. How you confront him is up to you, but do it! He needs to know that you will not stand for this. Unless he is willing to stop is extra-marital affairs (of every sort) and work with you on your marriage full time- he's choosing divorce. Is that how you feel? Don't let me put words into your mouth. His deception can't be tolerated.
On a more positive note, sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they change. Maybe that's what he's doing and the fact that you found out about it and will confront him on it may be the chance for a new beginning.
Dbing doesn't mean sweeping things under the carpet. You can't overlook his actions in this case. You will need your DB knowledge and strength in the days that follow- to deal with his reaction, but please let him know you know.
I wish things were easier for you right now. You are wonderful. Keep visiting here and we will help the best we can. It's not over yet, but you have to draw a line in the sand. I'm sure you already figured this out.
