I think that you guys are going to do great. You do not have any false expectations of it just going 'back to normal' and know that there is hard work ahead but that it will all be worth it!!!
I still wear my wedding ring because I don't want the people at work to know what is going on, they are too nosey!! But I can't wait until I can wear them on the weekends again and see him with his!!
I don't have a lot to add, because what could be added to such a wonderful post?
I am so incredibly, deliriously happy for you!!! I always knew your H would come around.
You have such a wonderful future together :).
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
My counseling session this morning went well. I am learning a lot about myself. This morning we went through the first 3 things on my hubbys list of things I need to change and we talked about how I was doing these things and how I can keep the changes going and improve further because I told my T how nervous I am about moving back in because I am really scared that things will fall back to arguing all the time and being upset and emotionally drained all the time. I feel better now though. I am just going to have to keep giving it 110% everyday. Which at the moment sounds kinda exhausting. But I know it will be worth it and there will be a lot of good memories and good times ahead that will balance out the work.
The job interview was a bust. I don't really even know how to explain it. Lol. It was kinda a group interview and no one else was dressed nice. I was the one who felt out of place in my dressy clothes. The job was something completly different than described on the website I found it on. Crazy. I told them I was not interested in the job and walked out. Waste of time!
Oh well. . .tomorrow is a new day. I am going to go out and finally fill out applications since I will finally have a day all to myself without having any appointments or interviews. Then I am going to happy hour with a co-worker.
My counselor gave me an assignment to sit down with my hubby and have a conversation about the list he gave me and to officially give him my list and really talk over the things we are changing and the things we still need to work on. The conversation should happen before we move in together so we can prep ourselves. She also thinks we should go back to MC once we get settled in or to start going right before we move in so we can really focus on learning to deal with conflict so that things do not spiral out of control again. All good ideas. I will try to get some time to talk about things with hubby. I get so nervous and do not want to spook or overwhelm him but these things are really important. She said that approaching it in a "my counselor gave me this assignment" way would be better than "we need to talk about our relationship" as it is less pressuring and would give it a "team" feel. So we will see. I think I will just tell him about the assignment and then let him take the lead on when and where to have the actual conversation. I will figure it out in the next day or two.
I also want to make a list of goals that I have for myself for the next five years, just broad goals, and show that to him at some point in time and just say "this is what I want in life and I want to make sure that you can support me in these things." I think so often couples, especially young couples, get off track when their goals and life plans go in opposite directions. This is my way of saying I will support you no matter what you want to do or where you want to go in exchange that you support me and encourage me in my personal goals. Things like losing weight, writing my first novel, getting published, buying a house, going back to school, etc. They may not all come true but I think it would provide a very clear picture of what I want my life to be, not that he doesn't already know most of them. I guess it would just feel good to have it in writing to show him.
Sorry if any/all of that seemed like rambling. I just have a lot of thoughts bouncing around inside my head and have not had an outlet today to share them with so I kinda threw it all out on here. Hope it makes sense in some way. Lol.
Well I gotta get to sleep. Long day of job hunting ahead of me!
Can I just say that the way you are going about things seems so mature?! Again not to harp on about age, but I cannot imagine being half as mature at your age as you are now! I think it says a lot about you and your H that you were able to deal with things like this so early in life and in your marriage.
Yes I'm sure you will need to give 110% and it probably will be exhausting at the beginning, but you'll get to the point where the changes you've made are second nature. I am sure you'll get to the point where things start seeming easy again, happy, peaceful, blissful.
Funny about the job interview! Sorry it didn't work out for you, but you've got such a positive attitude, I'm sure you'll find something suitable soon.
Have a great day!
ITH
Last edited by istherehope; 10/24/0801:48 PM.
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Sorry the interview was a bust but don't worry that means that there is something better waiting for you out there! Good to see that IC is going well too.
You guys are going to do great with everything, the M and your life you have attainable goals set out for yourself and the drive and ambition to get it done. Just keep up the positive attitude.
I applied for jobs today and got a call back for an interview like an hour after I had applied online. Pretty crazy. She wanted to set up an interview on Monday but I work so I made it for Tuesday. So that is good news.
My hubby has also been looking for a job, a little. The problem is this economy and the number of jobs available. I hope he can get a job working in his army office. That would be the best case senario because he would get paid a lot and it would make him happy, in theory. We will have to wait and see. All I can do is focus on me. Getting frustrated and impatient at the situation is not going to do me any good but it's hard not to right now. It's like I finally have a green light and then I have to stop again because something else is in my way. There are just waaaay too many variables and 99% are out of my control. I guess that is the point though. Let go, let God. Okay okay. . .
On a happier note we are going to get together Sunday. I even have him thinking about coming early and going to church with me. We haven't been to church together in a long long time so this would be extra good! I hope he decides to come with me. But I left it totally up to him and if he is not ready yet I will (try) not to get mad and hold it against him. I just want a fun day but I also feel like I should at least mention my IC assignment so he can think about it a bit. Even if we do not officially talk about it at least it will get the ball rolling to mention it.
Tomorrow is lay low day, give him some space and do my own thing. I might even get around to going to that weight watchers meeting that I have been talking about going to since a month ago!!! Argh! Lol. One goal at a time I guess.
Well I will keep y'all posted as this crazy train comes to a stop!
