We're nearing final divorce settlement. Mediator meeting in the next 2 weeks. W is getting a new place to live, complete with a rent payment. Not sure about her job. She still has a no contact order on me. Not sure how long that will last. I have reasoned that it prevents good parenting, but she isn't budging.
I think so. She's in a tough spot. If she relents on the restraining order, she looks bad. Like she went off for no reason. Also the order has been very effective in the custody battle. Remember she was exhibiting really poor behavior - drinking, infidelity in the house with the kids present, other stuff. It was not very motherly. so she used this order to effectively reverse the table.
I can only do so much with the legal system. I just keep thinking that I will love my kids and they will come to me of their own desire when they are old enough. my boys are already asking for more time with me. what the court decides is not how it will be. The kids will eventually make up their own minds, which is great. It's still sad for me, a big loss to not be with them on a daily basis. anyway....
Plans for the weekend!
This weekend I will be kidless. I've been wanting to ride my bike around an island nearby - so if the weather is nice I may do that. If the weather looks ugly I will go to the club instead.
Sunday morning there are some buddies planning a bike ride on some trails nearby, I will accompany them.
I will also see if I can get a buddy to go golfing with me.
also I have to go shopping for a desk for the kids, so they can do their homework at my place.
those are my hopes for this weekend. what about choo?
the very good people at work, who have supported me so much through my ordeal. Especially my immediate boss, who has been running interference for me all along. Really nice.
the work at work which is really very interesting. It's intellectually challenging, and there are organizational and management challenges, it is really a fun and engaging project and the people I work with are smart and conscientious. It's a dream job, really.
my new counselor. If you look at him, he's just a regular guy, a regular schmoe. But he is so much more insightful than any of the other counselors I have met. I used to have this teacher when I was in high school, and I got this feeling that this teacher was in over his head. Like it was obvious he was being asked to teach kids who were brighter than he was. And he'd try to pretend his way through it, but it was obvious he was floundering. It was so pitiful. But at the same time I was a little indignant, like "can I get a real teacher here?!" Never said that to him, I just mean that was the thought I had. Anyway some of the counselors I have met with - I get that feeling about them. They are just working through "the book" on what to do. No real insight, no real engagement. No courage. They are just checking the boxes, following the "Psychotherapy for Dummies" instruction manual. Anyway this new guy is not like that at all. He's good.
My friends and especially right now, the friends with money. One of them just got a new big-screen TV, and offered me his old big-screen TV (he has money so he needs to cycle those TVs every couple years). So whoo-hoo! A big screen for my new pad. nice to have generous friends.
SPM, so glad you found a therapist that you feel good about> I thank God for mine. Not a big talker, but what she says is always profound and on the money. OK, I am going to say today I am thankful for her.
I know there isnt much you could do on the legal front, but I too believe that in the end what is supposed to happen, does.
Your wife may come to her senses one day and realize that a good mother would want her children to be with their obviously dedicated dad as much as possible.
Yeah Sirprize for friends with money. How generous of your friend and that's great for having a good c. H and I really like the one we have now too.
I totally understand the just checking the boxes. We tried mc before this whole crisis and only went to 2 sessions. We didn't seem to make a connection with the c.
Hopefully your w will come to her senses. This is all so very tough.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
