Listen ((AmyC)) she is telling you straight. Your uncontrolled venting to your W may have cost you the whole ball of wax. Your uncontrolled venting may have set you back months, if not longer. I think you better go very dark and lay low for a while. At least until you can control your emotions with and around your W.
You are not the only one around here that has and will get anger and is shamed of their sitch. Your C may have told you not to keep it your emotions bottled inside you, but I just bet she didn't tell you to blow–up to your W. There are other ways to blow off steam. (1) Is writing down what you want to say, (2) posting here, (3) find a very close friend you can vent to, (4) tell it to your C. I have writing my WAW 6 letters filled with gilt, anger, shame etc... But I never sent them. I put them away where know one can find them. I have felt better.
Do you really think your W is not going through the same bad time? I am willing to bet she is hurting more than you think. Now you may have just turn up the heat and pressure on her to the point...... Who knows? Stop talking to people about your sitch. Change the subject. Do something, but discuss it with them.
I am LBS. I have been going through the same H*LL as you are for the last 5 months. Yes, I have wanted to tell my W what I believe truth as I see it. About what she is doing to me, us and the family. I have to admit that I have had I have expresses some of my hurt and anger to W. It made feel better for about 15 minutes. After that 15 minutes I hated myself and wished I had not said a word. I should have stayed dark. I have learned from the fine people here, my IC and readings that controlling my emotions; especially my anger is the best for me to archive my goals. I am not saying that I will be successful in saving my M. But at least I will not regret the things I have said or done to my W some time in the future.
Look. It is not over until it is over. You can still make a deference. But you must learn to control your anger or it will not only destroy any chance you may have to save your M, but it will destroy YOU.
Suck it up and get with the program. We are here to listen, advise, and help. If you have to run your thoughts (2 a.m. thoughts) by the people here before to take your next step. Talk to your C about your anger. Your C will help you work out your anger issues.
