Quoting Corri:It isn't irony. It is an expectation gone askew. You are not seeing the data. This is simple physics. For every action there is a reaction, yes? You continue to repeat the same action, yet are perplexed why you continue to get the same reaction. You get it because that is a law of physics. If you change your action(s), you will change the action that follows. It can happen no other way.
One thing my wife really enjoys is shopping. Sounds pretty typical, right? And I find shopping to be tedious and painful. Also typical.
There is nothing my wife could do to make me enjoy or desire shopping. But I will go shopping with her once in a while just because I know she likes me to come along.
Sometimes I think my wife's attitude about sex is the same as my attitude toward shopping. So what is the action-reaction here? There is no action on her part will create a reaction on my part such that I suddenly desire to go shopping. I will go along to make her happy, but I will be hoping that it doesn't take too long. Just get in and get out with whatever it was you needed.
Maybe the big difference is that I am very supportive of her attempts to find other friends to shop with. Also, nobody will think me less of a husband because I have negative feelings about shopping.
Anyway, I've tried a lot of actions, and the reaction is more or less always the same. If she gave me a book called "The Shopping-Starved Marriage" which detailed her pain at the lack of shopping we do together, I would probably go shopping with her a lot more often. And so, that is why I think she's been more willing to have sex lately.
You know, once I get a few things in the shopping cart, it really isn't that bad after all.
