He does have self image issues, but I don't understand why. He has a great job that he loves, even though it can be very stressful. The problem is definately not the job or his level of satisfaction with it. He loves what he does and tells me so frequently.
Hobbies, he really does not have, but that is his choice.
Performance issues: he has never had a problem in that area with "coming to attention" and staying that way. He just has no drive, desire or need and avoids physical contact. I know that he is somewhat intimidated that I have had many lovers before we were married. I was very up front with him about that as I thought that he should know that. Maybve I should not have told him but I was being honest so he could make an informed decision before we married. I am his second lover.
Sounds like your wife and my husband suffer from similar difficulties. Wish that there was a magic pill or spell that would let them know that they are loved and appreciated so their self image would let them be more comforatablel with who they are. If we found this magic elixer, we could make a fortune! My H really is a dear, sweet, funny man. I do love him, but it is hard to continue loving when outward affection is lacking. Asking for affection is hell and feels forced. I would like easy spontinaity and passion and that is too much for him to give me. I wish he could be more secure with who he is, but I cannot change that, either. Let's hope that the counseling will help. He really is a closed nonverbal, and I am just the opposite. Last night we went to Match.com and took the personality test, which was my idea. He was very uncomforatable takinf the test, because mant of the choices were not completely accurate as far as what you would do or how you would react. He is so black and white, has to be the computer geek disease in him. ANyway, I was glad that he was willing to take the test. It is like going to a fortune teller, things as so general that you can interprete the results however you like. SOme of the results were quite accurate, though. Give it a whirl and see for yourself. My results were off base on some things asn pretty close for others. I used this personality test as a starting point for a discussion, so it was worth that at least.
