Thank you for stopping by you melontastic maidens!
Lisa, H says he is working on things.. He figures if he makes a point of trying to connect with D3 and I daily (by phone) and spends some time with us 2 or 3 times a week that that's working on it.. that he's getting better with time management and handling stress.
I guess what I want to know is.. is that enough? I don't feel it is. I want more than that... and I KNOW D3 DESERVES MORE than that.
Gosh, do I sound ungrateful? I don't mean to. I know there are people out there dying to have any interaction with their H's.. but whatever he and I have going on right now it's not a relationship.... I have no idea what it is.
Needless to say I'm feeling pretty blue this week.. mostly since yesterday. I think it's this birthday sneaking up on me.. I struggle with getting older. I know it's only a number but I find birthdays are so "reflective" and I'm definitely not where I hoped to be at this st'age' of my life.
And work got to me today. It feels impossible to get my job done without the tools I need to do it.. and that's what happened today. By the time I got the tools to do this important thing I needed to do today I had 6 minutes before I had to leave to catch my train... which I couldn't miss (otherwise I can't get to the daycare on time..) so I was stressed out... feeling like a crap employee.. feeling like crap that I'm only person who's able to get to D3.. when I would have liked to stay late and get the work done. I really miss being part of a team. Being a team of one is...... and I feel like I'm constantly letting myself down and now my employer.
