God grant me the patience and the strength...8

[theotherhalf]

Thank You! Thank You! You've all made my day. Great feedback with lots of great stuff for me to ponder over. Thank You!

Hold on to your hats, this will be a long one (TOH talks too much):)

Andabelle,
Good idea on being gone. I absolutely love this farm. I love the life of being on the farm. The idea of having to sell this place is just about as gut renching as losing my H. It is all I've ever dreamed of.

Lwb,
So do I just say no without an explanation? I have no idea what H will do in the future, but I reallydon't think there will be anyone else until we are D. Maybe I'm wrong.
Yep! I've been the moose, more than once.:(

WCW,
I did help H before. I helped bale hay, moved machinery, hauled hay, helped pull calves when needed, fed bottle calves, did chores. But I didn't do enough. Too busy with girls and the house. Now I have time to do all that the things I missed out on. I want to be more involved. I want to do field work. The livestock was a big issue because I am so afraid of them. I am now working on getting over that fear. I agree that H worked his a*s off BUT I too worked full time. I took care of him, the girls, yard work, gardened, house work, cooking, family stuff, bookkeeping, AND I helped him. If H would have been more willing to ask for help, be more patient with me and teach me how to do more things and be more appreciative of MY time, he would have maybe had more help.

NC,
Thanks, great post with interesing ideas. And your right about him maybe being better off. But he needs to know I have made and am glad I've made, and want to keep these changes. So??? Do I stop or continue??

"why would he want to go back to being M?"

Because he misses me, wants to be with me, misses my companionship, my humor, the fun we have together, my cooking, my love, our home, our girls. Because if he don't he will lose me...

lwb,
I am doing all of this first for

ME

. It's what I want in my life. ALL of it. H & the farm. If H wants to be a part of that it's his choice.

Andabelle,
Nobody said life was easy. We both knew what we were getting into when we started this life. We don't farm that much and you don't farm to make money, you do it for the love of farming.