Wow, you sound like my husband just a few short months ago. All I can say is that I think, as a woman and as an LDer, all of your pain, all of your frustrations, are valid. But you probably don't need my validation.
In absence of any other course, because it sounds like you have tried them all, I'd get yourself into counseling whether he decides to go or not. You will most definately benefit. I'd try that before I'd try the anti-depressants.
I've been through counseling, some with my husband, most without him, and you can bring about enormous change just by going by yourself. When you change yourself, your spouse has to change. He has no choice because you are no longer the same person. ('Least, that's what my shrink told me, and darned if he wasn't right, in my opinion).
I think, if nothing else, your situation right now is predictable...and predictability brings a certain level of comfort for some people. Things may be crazy, volital, or passionless...but they are predictable. If you change...things are no longer predictable.
Don't wait for him to go. More than likely, he's going to come up with some excuse not to go. He may not. But if he doesn't end up going, your head is going to spin off your shoulders. So don't wait for him. Call tomorrow and set up your own appointment. You've waited on him long enough.
At the very least, counseling is going to help you build back up the self-esteem that has been damaged by your husband's inattentiveness. In absence of your husband willing to change, that is the very best advice I can give you.
