Sorry I have been away for awhile, but have been wallowing in deep depression as of late. Obviously nothing has really changed in my life, still no intimacy, same old story. Nuff said.
I have been reading many posts trying to gain an insight into what my H as the LD patner is thinking, and I must thank all of you LD people for helping me understand why he responds the way that he does. Your insights are helpful and enlightening but does not change my situation. I wish that there was a magic button I could push to get him to open up and enjoy intimacy together. After all these years, it probably will never happen.
I have noticed several curious ties that wind through many of the posts. One is that we HD people all wither and die inside when our LD partners do not, cannot, or will not share themselves with us HD folks. The tender and creative ways people have tried to woo their unwilling partners is absolutely outstanding, but seems as if most of us have tried every method out there to no avail. And we suffer in agony with rejection and bitterness. Small wonder.
Some of the men seen to think that all women do not want or enjoy the pleasures of the boudoir. Au contrair my misguided friends. Some women have needs and desires as strong, or stronger than the average man. And we suffer just as intently or more so from our partners rejecting us as you men do. Please try to remember that there are HD ladies out here that are in abject hell because of societal pressures on us that contradict our HD desires. We can only be sexy for our H only or we are sluts, sex before marrige is taboo for a woman, you get my drift about the societal pressure stuff.
One more thing that is bothering me is that for people who admit to thinking about having an affair, or are actually having an affair, they get not so gently bashed for trying to have some of their needs met. I realize that for the most part, an affair can really make a messy situation a disaster. But in certain instances it might be able to releave some of the anxiety and rejection that we starving people are suffering from. Please don't be so quick to judge those of us that have "strayed." As I have stated before, my H broke our marriage vows by avoiding the "cherish" part. And I have tried for so long to turn this around, that if and when I do have an affair, I know deep in my heart that I have not cheated on him. His lack of attention forced me to look elsewhere.
