Nah, if people want to go back & read my threads they can, but you don't need to put them all over here. Thanks though.
Hey, mil/wife, I remember you were going to kiss your H when he left for deployment. Did you do that? How did he react?
I was listening to my Ipod this a.m. and, yes, dufus Kelly actually has Barry Manilow on it. Remember the "Pina Colada song?" It's so much like our WAS's. They want exactly what they have, but can't see it.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
RHW, Yeah, I agree with ya about the pina colata song. I have thought that before when I was first put through this torture. I guess it goes to show ya, how almost everyone ?'s relationships in their lives, were just the unfortunate buch that actually had our M's shaken up and sometimes broken for their ?ing.
Well, I wanted to just pop by and let ya know that we are on similar time frames. I am 1&1/2 years post bomb. However, we have only been peicing for the last 6 months and we are still not living together again.
This is so hard on me. I love him and was miserable with out him, but now that he is back - he is not the same person. My H's personality, goals, spending, habbits, attitudes, priorities, and freinds are all very different from what he was like for the 12 yrs pre-bomb.
My H now has a large drinking problem, and ditches me to go hang at bars alone or with his new young single buddies. It is so hard on me -with all that I have already been through (EA -stripper and all). I am often alone and crying and scared when he blows me off. But then the next time I see him he is always so loving or apologetic. So it strings me along.
Well, I am glad to see your almost at 2 yrs post bomb. How long have you been piecing for? TIPPER
I kissed him on the cheek, then called him as he walked down the pier to tell him I loved him. I could not let him leave for 7 months without saying it. He seemed to be okay about all of it, but I don't know.
Well, H decided to "stay" about a month before he had to leave for a year deployment. That would have been in April. He was gone from May '07 through May '08. He's been home about six months now. Not only are we post-bomb, but we are post-been away for a year & have to get to know each other again / learn to live w/ each other & 3 little boys again etc.
It's been interesting. We've had our ups & downs. I'm pretty much over most of it, but the trust is still lacking. I still always have this feeling he is going to cheat again, whether it's just an EA/talking to some girl or whatever.
Turns out he cheated on me the first time he was deployed when our oldest (8) was about 18 mnths. During d sitch, he & I BOTH wondered if he just didn't have the capability to be faithful.
On the other hand, he and I both know that if he did cheat again, I would not stick around. No ifs, ands, or buts. But then again, we all know one of the mottos around here -- you never know how you are going to react or what you are going to do in a certain sitch until it actually happens.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Hit current and it has my newest thread. First post has all of my most recent. I am having a couple of bad days. H is being a jerk. Do not want to hijack, so I will let you find me.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
You can hijack any time, girl, I don't have much interesting stuff to post right now anyway.
I don't think you are screwing anything up. You were doing awesome when he was home and, honestly, I think you have done awesome all along. Way better than I ever did!!
I honestly think that I would just hold back a little bit and see how he reacts to that. See if he notices; see if he says something about it and maybe says he misses your emails, etc. I would quit sending packages, but I wouldn't say anything to anybody about not doing it, such as his parents and telling them they need to send him whatever he needs. If he emails and asks you to send something, then ok, but I wouldn't be sending care packages. See if he misses it. That's just my advice for now.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
RHW, Wow, I wish I could say the same about feeling like you have gotten over it.
After this six months of piecing (our third try; 1st=5 month, 2= 1week, and this time=6 months so far), I am still so scared he is gonna give up again.
He says he loves me and treats me well, but we dont live together yet and he goes out drinking a lot. He has changed so much and my fears get worse every time he ditches me for beer. He is still in MLC but getting better slowly.
This is a roller coaster - no doubt. I love him and am very capable of living alone but I hate it. His future plans are strickly about him it seems. He doesnt want to move back into my town house cuz he says its too small, and he is talking about saving up to buy a cheap home. He never includes me when he speaks about this. I am trying to be patient. My fears overcome me. Thanks for listening, TIPPER
Tipper, be patient, sweetie. Know what YOU want and allow God to lead you.
Just wanted to stop in and tell everyone, that as much as I complain, it is possible to bust a divorce. My H was deadset on D and we are actually truly wonderful now.
Just in the last week or so, I feel so much love flowing from H. It's so comforting! I am just making sure I reciprocate no matter how tired or stressed I may be.
S3 decided to get up at 3:30 a.m. the other day so that's how I started my week The joys of parenting. That's where a lot of our stress comes from. We have HUGE issues w/ the 2 youngest (4 & almost 3) going to bed at night (sound familiar BBJ?) Anyway, we've learned to work through it together and it just seems to flow.
It can happen, guys & gals. Just wanted to give everyone some positive news -- there is hope!
Last edited by RedHeadWife; 10/31/0806:09 PM.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
The joys of parenting. That's where a lot of our stress comes from. We have HUGE issues w/ the 2 youngest (4 & almost 3) going to bed at night (sound familiar BBJ?) Anyway, we've learned to work through it together and it just seems to flow.