I do appreciate al the advice and suppot I recieve. I am currently in counseling. My D (10yrs) has no idea why we are living seperated. She told me yesterday she beliefs mom moves back home. She just needs a break from the arguing DAD. It put a tea in my eye and I began to ralize how this is affecting our child.I try to save my marriage but my wife is not interested in anything I say so right now I just sit back and pray she will realize what she is doing. Its hard but I do take it day by day and try to get my life some how back in order.
When will this roller coaster end,I am having a hard time staying focused. When I detect a small sign one day it is a diferent attitute the next. Could it be she is fighting with herself too. I am currently in counseling.
Garry, Its important for you to remember that you aren't the crazy one. WAWs become crazy. Your job for yourself and your kids is to be the source of reason as much as possible. Don't give in to her craziness. I know this sounds crazy but your job as a man and a husband is to be a rock...be her rock. Stand back to give her space but don't give in to her wishiwashy-ness. It is obvious to me that she is facing some dark demons in her life. Don't be an accomplice to them. Instead, pray very hard for her. You can do it Garry. I know that this is hard.
I appreciate the support you giving me life for me is very hard,It is as all my dreams were taking from me and I am lost. I try so hard to not let it get the best of me and see if my wife can come to her senses. Its just so many hurt full things said to me I know I hav to brush them off but my mind sometimes just wont let me and the tears pour out and I am a nervous wreck. Ny wife is in total control of this whole situation and I cn not do anything but sit back and wait and she acts as if she is doing nothing wrong. Sometimes there are small signs and then a day later she has an attitude when she picks our daughter up. She is putting me through a roller coaster ride I wish would just end
Several things: 1) Don't make a point of initiating contact with your wife, but when you do talk, make the absolute most of it. Show her that you aren't desperate for her, but that you are a mature, confident, put-together guy. Don't be crushed in front of her; don't be sad; don't look like your cat just died.
2) Keep focusing on doing things for yourself and for your daughter.
3) I think you should consider ways to work on communication. The fact that your wife left for a woman makes me think that what she loves is the talking that women do. This woman likely offers support and validation. I imagine that being gone so much left you no real way to compete in the area of "quality time". And your wife's idea of quality time is probably just having a chat and being understood. If you find an opening to just talk, then do it. Let her talk, you listen, you understand, and you validate. Can you do that? Going all dark on her will probably not work because she's used to dark with you being gone.
4) Keep moving forward with your life as though your wife is never coming back. She may not be. But perhaps her seeing you surviving, even thriving, without her may help her realize what she's leaving behind.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I really Appreciate the advice and I think you hit the nail right on top.My wife told me that I wasnt there for her emotionally,and all I could tell her I was deployed it is hard for me to be there for her.Right now she is coming around a little but dont know how to react to that. She is getting a little jealous when she sees me in a new outfit or my daughter tells her I wnt to the movies. She still dont talk to me unless it has to do with our daughter. It hurts me so much that she can talk to anyone about her issues rather to open up to me. I am having such a hard time waiting t osee if she comes around even though she seems nicer now and told me a few days ago that she dont talk to the other women no more.I dont know what ot make of it no more. Any help appreciate it
Lately the Wife been acting nice to me and even went to church with me the other day,really dont know what to make of it. She still keeps conversations short and is still very defensive but she is talking to me and every now and then make a comment like how could you trust me aain.I dont know what to say to that and how o take her niceness all of a sudden. I hope she is not ptoying with me just because she thinks I might move on
I would answer her about how would you trust her again.....I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to still be with you and I would like an honest opportunity to repair the trust. I'm no wordsmith but something like that!
yeah,but the comment came out of the blue,thats what i mean its like a roller coaster.sometimes she is nice and the next day she dont talk to me,its like i get my hopes up just to be shot down. It is very painull sometimes and hard to stay focused. I have never experienced anything like it. I do tel lmyself at least she talks sometimes now een though its short n quick but maybe she coming around. Its just so hard on me right now,but trying to stay strong and not run after her.
Should I take this a sign when she spoke to me on the phone the other day she said.The person she is confiding all her problems to right now is helping her alot and if me and her would get back together again she would still want him as a friend because he helped her alot.But said twice not that we are getting back together again.
