TOH, I ML with my H before I was detached enough, and couldn't handle it. Detachment is tough-- now I've got it, but it still slips A LOT. I don't believe you have it, not even a little bit.
I know it would be difficult for you to go completely dark on your H, but could you try "dim?" You disike going out, think of yourself as a homebody-- fine. How about getting into nature? A well-timed walk in the country will get you away from the house when your H comes by. You need to be gone when he does, at least some of the time. Maybe then he won't take you for granted as much.
You really work your a** off around the farm. Do you truly love it? Or would you ultimately be happier if you guys sold it? Just wondering.
Nobody thinks you're pathetic and stupid. We've all been where you're at. We just don't like it that you're stuck there, cuz we know how much it sucks.
