SG, thanks. I will take all the prayers I can get. I trust baby steps more than huge changes.
SPM, I appreciate your perspective. The decision will definitely belong to our D. I would never force her to go to her mothers. My first concern is with my Ds well being. The only time I have put my Ws needs (notice I didnt say wants ) first is if the results don't negatively impact my children. Overall, I think it is safe because my D would make a beeline back home if the circumstances go against her beliefs.
Your point about my sons is the same concern I have had. I am really torn about the possible consequences it would have on how they would feel about this. They could, very possibly, feel rejected by their sister and it could move them to a non-trusting state where women are concerned. This will have to be handled very carefully.
To answer your question regarding to the possible benefit to ease my Ws depression/guilt, I would be happy about that. IMO, she would then relate a positive to taking on responsibility and facing, at least some, of the challenges that have been caused by her leaving. Previously, my W has "fled" relationships with the only consequence as missing an old friendship. Since this is a relationship she has fled that is immediate family that loves her, it has much more of an impact on her emotionally.
SPM, there is virtually nothing I wouldn't do for my family as long as it doesn't violate any moral or ethical rules. I can be as selfish as the next person but when it comes to family, my conscience can't live with that.
Again, thank you for helping me consider these possibilities!
mmf
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
