I need help with this!

[faithrunner]

Hope, I read about your phone conversation and I am so proud of you! You stayed confident and calm. You must be beat! I know that I get so tired after having all this emotional stress.

My feeling is this will not tend to bring them closer. I think they have to feel like they've been shaken a bit to someone saying "what's wrong with you?" Maybe that will wake up one or both of them! It is so nice that you can take walks on the beach. Serenity time is priceless! I have to settle for turning the music off in my car after I drop the kids off and try to think peaceful thoughts and pray on my way in to work.

On my end, H called at the end of his work day yesterday to ask if it was ok for him to go out with some of his friends from work. I said sure. In the back of my mind I wondered if this would be a meeting with OW or are they still just chatting? I prayed a ton on my way to pick up the kids and actually felt blessed by all the friendships I have developed during this process and by the deepening of my relationship with God. I felt relaxed. I can honestly say I didn't spend the evening wondering if he was back at his room yet or what he was doing. That was good for me.

This morning he came over, didn't have to work so he is spending the day with the boys. He wanted to make sure my phone was working well, so he started to fix it. Showed me his phone and how his email works. I was surprised b/c he could have gotten emails at any time and didn't seem concerned about me seeing his inbox. He then started to talk about his evening, I didn't ask. He said it was fun, hung out for about an hour, and got back in time to watch some tv. He talked about the shows he watched (stuff we watch together) and how funny they were. I just agreed and moved on. So, to believe his account of his evenings or not. That's the question. He wanted me to know he was back early, but why? I acted like it was no big deal.

Maybe you'll agree with this Hope, I feel like I need a detachment refresher, esp before the weekend! Giving me the phone and working so hard to get it set up confused me a ton. I know I need to pull back and I feel like I need to read up on detachment and distancing all over again. Hopefully I'll get the chance today so I don't do anything stupid.

Hope, I am really proud of you. I am praying that you feel your own strength today and appreciate your conviction, loyalty to your family, and how hard you are working to restore your family. Good for you.