Back to life, back to reality?

[istherehope]

Hi Sep,

Thanks. I am surprised myself at how well I've done with the R talk. In the past I would panic and start saying something in response. However as I set the no R talk rule, I need to follow my own rule.

Since posting H has been IMing more, just joking about this weekend. I actually feel nervous now. I feel as though he is going to be testing the relationship based on how things go over the weekend. Strange that I am the one saying this, but I think spending 3 entire days in a row together might be a bit much. Sunday and Monday we will be in the car for 4 hours, and tomorrow we will be in the car as well. I might have liked just doing our own thing around the house for one day a little bit better, but I think the thing that I said in my email about not giving us a chance to spend time together really got to him.

I need help here though. Things are clearly not what they used to be, and the idea of going on the 4 hour trip is bizarre. I am not sure what we should talk about, how much I should talk, whether it is better to try and make conversation or sit quietly...he wants "more" than what he feels that we have, but more intimacy means bringing up really contentious topics I think. I would prefer to work on rebuilding the friendship, but seems like he wants to see whether there can be that spark there. Feeling confused on my strategy for the weekend...

ITH