Overall, things are fine. But I am feeling like I am going nuts. I am really stressed out and worrying that I am not getting what I deserve out of our R.
This was my week, * Mon= He blew me off to go drink. * tues= he was unbelievably at my house when I got home - but only because he was hung over & didnt work & wanted to watch my t.v. all day in comfort. It wastnt to see me. We hardly talked all night due to my hurt and his tiredness. * Wed= He called me when I got home from work and wanted to go bowling & then we made dinner at my house and watched t.v.. He was texting people the ENTIRE NIGHT LONG. Talk about annoying, I have no idea who or why. * Thur= I had to work late and he knew I would be home at 8:30 and when I called him then I got no response. A half an hour later he finally called and said he would come by. Then it took him 45 min to drive 5 miles to my place. Obviously he was at the bar drinking again with out me. By the time he got to my place I was falling asleep.
So, I guess I am looking back at this week with a lot of stress to be in this situation I am in. I feel like his actions are saying to me that he is happy to be with me - but only on his time and when it is convienient to him. He is still in " ME - MODE".
He also has been critizising me for any and every flaw lately. I hate it when he does this, I am such a defensive person and so it is hard for me to do this 180 of biting my lip and turning it around and laying into him for his flaws. But I did well and didnt respond defensively to any of his critisizms. This is my biggest 180 I can and have done. But I am finding it hard to want to stick to it lately since I feel so let down by him.
Anyways, I know he is happy. He tells me all time lately. And he has been acting really happy with our R when we are together for the most part.
He really has no idea that all these little things are bugging me. TIPPER
